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The story
A thread on 5ch’s “Nandemo Jikkyou G” board, started by a 31-year-old man who says he’s lost 30 straight rounds on dating apps. When he revealed he earns 8 million yen (roughly $55,000) a year, other posters accused him of lying, sparking talk about the harsh reality that dating apps are a battlefield with far more men than women. Many said even matchmaking agencies suffer from a shortage of female members. Some recommended marriage-focused apps or matchmaking agencies over casual dating apps, while others countered that agencies have their own problems too. Opinions were also split on why he can’t get past a third date into an actual relationship.
What people said
How do you even win women over… I don't get it…
It's because you're using dating apps in the first place.
I've got zero real-life encounters.
No chance — no matter how capable you are, you won't get a management title until you're around 40.
Or get a relative back home to set you up on an arranged-meeting (omiai).
Apps where women use it for free have low commitment because it costs them nothing — women only go for guys way out of their league and ghost everyone else.
I used a matchmaking agency for a while, and honestly it was no good at all… way too few women.
If there's that few, you're probably not in the greater Tokyo area, huh.
Sounds like you might already be done for.
Yeah, it's basically a regional city.
Because there's no other battlefield to fight on.
I'm not even lying, though.
Really? Then try posting your pay stub to prove it.
Calling a 31-year-old making 8 million yen an "obvious liar" (uso-matsu) is honestly a stretch.
If you can't even reach the starting line, you're never getting to the finish line.
See, he ran away.
The "30 losses in a row" thing is probably a lie too.
Ugh, you're boring, so you're getting muted.
Those guys pick up women like it's their job, just spamming numbers nonstop.
It's basically a slot machine.
Being high-spec just raises your hit rate — anyone can win eventually.
It's hopeless unless he realizes he's not in a position to be picky.
If he really can't compromise on anything, he should just give up on marriage.
On his marriage-hunting profile: cafe-hopping, weight training, travel, gaming.
In reality: gaming and pachinko slots.
What value do you actually offer the other person?
Lying like that will come out after meeting a few times anyway.
And even if you somehow make it to marriage without getting caught, there's no way you can hide it forever.
What's even the point of a lie like that?
If your hobbies are just gaming and pachinko slots, the conversation isn't going anywhere.
What do you mean?
I met around 30 people, got a second date with maybe 7 or 8 of them,
and made it to a third date with 3.
You made it to a third date and it still didn't turn into a serious relationship?
I was planning to confess my feelings on the third date, but the date just never got exciting.
So all three ended after the third date, huh.
That's it, then —
you're just not actually serious about getting married.
You weren't even acquaintances to begin with, so there's no way a third date is going to be that exciting.
You need more dates than that — trust doesn't build overnight.
I've never dated anyone in my life, so I just don't get that feeling.
This OP (thread starter) has no real intention of getting married.
I've lived with a partner before, and it's actually great.
Sure, there are rough patches too, but still.
He's just running on "everyone else is getting married so I'll lose if I don't," with zero genuine motivation behind it.
Guys like this just want the trophy.
They're not actually interested in other people.
as long as you're not seriously weird.
For women, if you're young you can take your pick, but if you're an "old hag" (BBA), it's basically hopeless.
It's seriously not that easy.
To begin with, there just aren't many cute women, and the cute ones won't even approve your meeting request.
Even the unattractive women get picky on dating apps, so you're choosing hard mode for yourself.
I see — so between dates you're chatting on the app or whatever, right?
It'd help to find some shared interest to get the conversation flowing.
Are you also just talking without any real experience ("airplay")?
Obviously you exchange LINE contacts on the first date.
That's why I said "on the app or whatever."
By the way, I've never used a dating app, but I have gotten married.
How many years married?
Honestly, I don't even know anymore what I'm supposed to do.
Background and Key Points of This Discussion
The marriage-hunting market is often criticized for its gender imbalance — most dating apps let women use them for free while charging men, a setup thread posters pointed to when arguing that “apps free for women draw less serious users.” Matchmaking agencies come up short too, since they require a serious commitment to marriage, leaving fewer registered members overall and especially limited options outside major cities. That said, it’s worth noting that the numbers cited in the thread — his age of 31, his reported income of 8 million yen, and his “30 losses in a row” — are all anonymous, self-reported claims that can’t be verified. As replies piled up, the debate shifted away from which marriage-hunting method is best and toward suspicion of the poster’s own behavior and honesty about his circumstances, producing a mix of genuine advice and mockery.
*This article is excerpted and summarized from the 5ch (Nandemo Jikkyou G) thread “Seriously, How Do I Even Get Married?“
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