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The story
A man who has been doing “papa katsu” (a paid-dating arrangement where men pay women for companionship) for a year started a thread saying he’s thinking of confessing his feelings to his partner on their upcoming anniversary. The woman is someone he met through papa katsu, and he says their relationship — in which he covers date expenses and the like — has continued ever since. The post drew a wave of cold reactions on 5ch, with comments like “Isn’t this hopeless given she’s still doing papa katsu at 29?” It sparked a debate over whether a relationship built on money can develop into romance or marriage, and whether the woman could truly be said to love him. Opinions also split over notions of chastity, and over whether the relationship would survive once the payments stopped.
What people said
I'm thinking of confessing to her on our upcoming anniversary.
But you've got better odds than some old geezer, right? You two aren't that far apart in age, so dating wouldn't even be weird.
Dating with marriage as the end goal is pretty normal overseas. Japan's got some of the strictest chastity norms in the world, so it's rare here, but it's hardly some bizarre idea.
I don't need anything besides shirataki noodles, daikon, egg, beef tendon, and mochi-stuffed tofu pouches.
What's dragging down that "chastity ranking" of yours is guys like you paying for sex, and "babaa" (a slang insult meaning "old hag," ironically aimed here at women as young as 26) selling their bodies.
I'm keeping my chastity intact, thank you very much.
I asked a girl I met on X (formerly Twitter) to make me her sugar daddy.
Obviously I'd hand over my whole paycheck. There's no way I wouldn't give money to the wife I love.
Re: #28
Sorry, I genuinely don't follow your logic — aren't you the one paying money to get her to do sexual things? "Chastity" isn't just about whether a dick goes into a pussy, you know?
Re: #34
She doesn't take her clothes off, and I don't touch her or try to undress her either, so we're not doing anything vulgar enough to cost us our chastity.
OK, so if by some miracle you two actually ended up dating, would you be fine with her working at a handjob-only brothel?
Ah, that makes sense.
The moment you whip your dick out, that's already vulgar.
So are nursing homes vulgar places then? Caregivers sometimes have to wipe an old man's penis as part of care — does that make caregivers prostitutes?
You're the one who brought up handjobs. Can't you tell the difference between a handjob and helping someone with toileting or bathing?
You're the one who skipped straight past the whole "get close, then start dating" step.
Some guys can't even get close to a girl without paying her. For a guy like that, paying to meet a girl one-on-one is the starting line — he's not skipping anything.
Normally, even if you cover the date costs, you don't also hand over spending money.
It's not really "spending money" — paying for being entertained is normal. How is that any different from paying after someone treats you to a great meal at a restaurant?
So when you hang out with your friends, is it normal for you to say, "That was fun~ here, this is for entertaining me today!" and hand them cash?
At a restaurant, you're paying for being provided a meal and a venue.
In an equal relationship, on the other hand, you see each other "because you both want to" — so no money changes hands. That's the normal way.
What a sad creature you are.
But you see stories all the time about papa katsu girls "graduating" in their late twenties, getting married, and finding ordinary happiness.
There's no way she'd pick you.
That's because those guys have personal charm. What's your good point? Go ahead and LINE her right now — "Can we meet without me paying from now on?" If she's actually noticed what's great about you, she'll still agree to see you.
I'm just saying that's the starting line. If you get close and she gets to know your good points, it can still turn into real dating.
Sure. So go ask her right now, "Can we meet without me paying from now on?" If you've got any good points besides "shows up with 30,000 yen every time," she'll gladly keep seeing you.
There's no way I could say something like that. That's way too shameless. No matter how much trouble I'm in, I'd rather die than pull a beggar move like that.
The shameless one here is you, thinking you could date a girl who won't even meet you without 30,000 yen, you idiot.
I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about. If both people seriously want to date each other, paying money is actually disrespectful to her. It's got nothing to do with who's "above" or "below" who.
Background and Key Points of This Debate
Papa katsu has spread by taking the form of “paying money to go on dates,” drawing a line against the actual sexual intercourse regulated under the Anti-Prostitution Law — legally, whether intercourse occurs is the key dividing line. What split the thread was whether a relationship built on money can turn into “romance” or “marriage”: skeptics argued that “the relationship ends the moment the payments stop” and “she’s choosing the money, not the person,” while supporters countered that “it’s fine if real feelings develop, even if money was the starting point.” One thing readers can easily miss is that papa katsu itself isn’t automatically illegal — the trouble starts only when actual intercourse occurs or a minor is involved.
※This article is compiled as an excerpt and summary of the 5ch (Nandemo Jikkyo G) thread “[Papa Katsu] Can You Actually Marry a Papa Katsu Girl? There’s a Girl I’m Seriously Considering Dating.”
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