“If You Truly Love Her, Looks Shouldn’t Matter” — Man Torn Over Whether to Marry His Unattractive Girlfriend

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The story

A thread on 5channel’s “Nanimo Jikkyo G” board features a poster torn between two women: one he loves but isn’t physically attracted to, and one he finds attractive but hasn’t built a relationship with yet. The relatable dilemma of choosing a spouse when romantic feelings and physical preference don’t line up drew a flood of responses, with opinions clashing head-on between “if you truly love someone, looks shouldn’t matter” and “you can’t ignore appearance, given genetics and the regret you might feel later over your kids’ looks.”

What people said

1AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:43
Shouldn't I just marry a woman with a good face instead?
What do you guys think?
2AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:43
No way, not an ugly girl
She's ugly, right?
3AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:44
Re: #2
But I love her

Even though her breath stinks
6AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:45
Re: #3
Bad breath AND ugly — that's gotta be a troll post
Cut it out!!
7AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:46
Re: #6
Yeah, exactly

Can't even kiss her without worrying
4AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:44
If you really love someone, her looks shouldn't matter
5AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:45
Re: #4
Eventually you'll hit a difference in values or something

And with an ugly wife on top of that, cheating's basically unavoidable
8AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:46
Skip the ugly one
Having an ugly kid would be way too rough
11AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:48
Re: #8
Exactly

Looks are hereditary after all
10AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:48
If you love her, marry her
If you don't, don't — you'll regret it
14AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:48
Re: #10
I do love her

but she's kind of an oddball

That's part of what makes her interesting, but I feel like it'd wear on me after years together
15AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:49
Obviously go with the cute one
If she's cute you can forgive anything, and it'll motivate you at work too
16AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:50
Re: #15
They say you get tired of a pretty face in three days
17AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:50
I dated an ugly girl five years younger who I thought had a great personality, but she had a fatal flaw — couldn't hold a real conversation — so we broke up
20AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:51
Re: #17
Women are all more or less impossible to reason with, to some degree
19AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:51
Re: #16
If you get tired of a pretty girl that fast, an ugly one's gonna drive you insane
23AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:52
Re: #19
Is that so?
26AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:53
Are you confident you could love an ugly kid the same way you'd love a good-looking one?
29AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:54
Re: #26
Not sure about that

Never been a parent
30AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:54
Sorry, I'm not quite following
Ugly, bad personality, so-so body
VS
Cute, great personality, sexy


What exactly are you torn about again?
35AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:55
Re: #30
I do actually love the ugly one

With the pretty one, I'd still have to build the relationship from scratch
33AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:55
How ugly are we talking? If it's bad enough to be a real burden on the kid, seriously drop it
39AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:56
Re: #33
Apparently she's been through a lot of harassment over it and says she hates men
36AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:56
Looks are subjective, sure, but is she ugly even by your standards, OP (thread starter)?
40AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:57
Re: #36
Ugly by my standards, and everyone around her agrees too
41AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:57
OP seems like a bit of an oddball himself, so I'm skeptical she's really that ugly
45AnonymousSep 23, 2026 19:57
Re: #41
Yeah, I am an oddball, I'll admit

But I'd like to think my judgment on looks is normal
51AnonymousSep 23, 2026 20:01
Re: #11
If it's hereditary, does that mean you can't love the kid?
52AnonymousSep 23, 2026 20:01
Re: #51
The kid's gonna have a hard life
61AnonymousSep 23, 2026 20:05
Re: #52
Kids who go through hardship grow up kinder, though
62AnonymousSep 23, 2026 20:06
Re: #61
I don't think that's true
57AnonymousSep 23, 2026 20:03
What matters is whether being with her is easy
59AnonymousSep 23, 2026 20:03
Re: #57
Being with an ugly girl is easy
58AnonymousSep 23, 2026 20:03
You should work on becoming a better man yourself and marry the good-looking one
60AnonymousSep 23, 2026 20:04
Re: #58
We share the same values, the ugly one and me

I feel like I'll never find anyone who clicks with me like that again
63AnonymousSep 23, 2026 20:07
Re: #62
The ugly girl you're into has probably had her inner charm polished precisely because she's been through hardship, right?
65AnonymousSep 23, 2026 20:08
Re: #63
Her inner self is actually terrible.

We just happen to like the same stuff
67AnonymousSep 23, 2026 20:09
Re: #65
Huh? Then there's no reason to pick the ugly one
What is this guy even saying
69AnonymousSep 23, 2026 20:10
Re: #67
It's a niche hobby

Someone I can actually talk to about it with is rare and precious
70AnonymousSep 23, 2026 20:10
Re: #67
Also, technically, she's my first love

Maybe I should give up on a girl I fell for back when I couldn't even tell right from wrong yet?

Background and Key Points of This Discussion

This kind of “looks vs. personality” dilemma over choosing a spouse is a recurring staple on the Nanimo Jikkyo G board, and it’s worth remembering that the poster’s own assessment of his girlfriend’s looks is entirely subjective — the majority opinion in the thread doesn’t necessarily reflect mainstream values. The thread split mainly along two lines: first, a difference in romantic philosophy — whether genuine affection makes appearance a non-issue, or whether a mismatch in physical taste inevitably leads to a long-term clash of values and a breakdown of the relationship; second, whether it’s valid to choose a spouse based on the premise that a child’s looks are “hereditary.” That second point isn’t backed by any scientific argument — readers should note it’s purely anecdotal, impressionistic reasoning from an anonymous message board. The poster also revealed details about his girlfriend’s inner character, calling her an “oddball” who “hates men,” suggesting the real core of his dilemma isn’t just appearance, but compatibility in the relationship itself.

*This article is compiled and summarized from the 5channel (Nanimo Jikkyo G) thread “Should I Marry a Girl I Love Even Though She’s Ugly?.”

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