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The story
A survey released by singlehood researcher Kazuhisa Arakawa found that 52.6% of men in their 20s have never dated. What stands out is the use of the term “love cancellation” — a stage that comes even before the older “marriage aversion” trend — and the figure sparked a wave of reactions on 5ch. The thread brought together a wide range of views on why people are avoiding romance, including that marriage and dating offer no financial benefit, that confessing one’s feelings is now treated as “harassment” in today’s social climate, and that women’s attitudes have shifted.
○ Survey period: (ko) May 20 – Aug 5; (Japan/Korea) Japan: July 6–8, Korea: June 29–July 3
Men in Their 20s: “52.6% Have Never Dated” — From “Marriage Cancellation” to Full-On “Love Cancellation” Era #ExpertTopi (Kazuhisa Arakawa) – Expert – Yahoo! News
Kazuhisa Arakawa
Source: news.yahoo.co.jp / Original article here
What people said
If you've never dated, you can't even pick the optimal answer here
Left, no question.
The right one's got too many red flags.
Usually you marry someone like the one on the left,
and keep someone like the one on the right as a girlfriend on the side you take out once in a while.
The one on the right could be a dual-income type,
and might be the "delivers when it counts" type too.
Judging from a photo alone is a mistake.
Such a nuisance of a creature.
Lol, a woman's odds of getting killed shoot way up the moment she starts dating a guy.
No wonder "cancellation" is spreading.
And that's how you end up with a society where it's the most decent men and women who don't marry.
The whole premise is off.
Nobody these days has the resolve to actually pull off an arranged marriage (omiai).
If it means settling, might as well not bother — you'd just break up eventually anyway.
Respect to anyone who actually can settle.
"It only works if you pile patience on patience, endurance on endurance, give up your freedom, and throw away money, time, mental well-being, and a lot of life's other riches."
That was the conclusion.
They also said your happiness index tanks the moment you're supporting a jobless partner, like a housewife.
It's true that after about 10 years, most married couples have lost all affection for each other.
A life spent gritting your teeth and seething with irritation while living together forever might just be the unhappiest life there is.
Huh, that actually makes sense.
Even when you're dating someone, the fun part only lasts about a year.
I get why bothering to woo someone every single time feels like a hassle.
Marriage is a guaranteed loss, so it's not even worth discussing.
What's even in it for the man? Marriage, I mean.
Your wife and kids drain your money, you lose your freedom, and your responsibilities pile up.
And it's not like your salary goes up because of it — if anything, married men (lol) get taken advantage of and dumped with brutal workloads, since companies assume they can't afford to quit.
Women come out ahead way more often.
They get to quit their jobs and retreat into being a housewife, they get to have their own kids, and once the kids are somewhat grown, housewives really do seem to have it easy.
Too much free time, so they take a part-time job for pocket money and act all proud of themselves.
People always say a woman's career ends with pregnancy and childbirth, but if it ends that easily, she probably wasn't that attached to the job anyway, right? If she actually had a real skill, going back to work would be easy.
If anything, women are the ones with nothing to gain from marriage.
The fact that single women outlive married women proves it.
Men, by contrast, live longer when married.
The whole mistake is women assuming giving birth is some kind of joy.
It's nothing but hard labor.
At least you won't end up in an unmarked grave with no one to claim your remains (muenbotoke).
Though plenty of marriage-hunting slackers say "I don't need a family" and then coolly list their own siblings as an emergency contact, saying "good thing I have siblings" — those guys are headed for an unclaimed grave anyway.
Confessing your feelings is harassment.
Confessing your feelings is harassment.
Enough with calling everything sexual harassment and power harassment!!
Apparently schools are teaching kids that a confession from someone you're not into counts as sexual harassment.
Everyone reports it as harassment when the confession comes from someone gross.
I'm in my 30s, and both my juniors and everyone around me regret getting married.
No freedom, and with prices this high there's no financial breathing room either. There's no upside to marrying right now.
They can't exactly rub it in and say "marriage is great!" in front of someone who can't get married, can they, lol.
Don't you realize they're just holding back out of consideration for you, lol.
Behind closed doors they're doing just fine, lol.
Wow, you actually believe that. How pure of you, lol.
Women in their 20s these days aren't really like that.
They know that aside from a tiny handful of high-spec guys, men don't have much money, so they don't bother demanding it.
What they're after more is someone they click with and feel comfortable around.
But you'd still turn down a "low-status man" (jakusha danshi), right?
Isn't it a good thing, then, that low-status men are disappearing from the dating market, lol.
*Though of course they still expect above-average looks.
Future criminal material, that.
That's wild.
A "nanny trap" (a pun on "honey trap" — sounds too good to be true).
It's about not being interested in the first place, so it's not even a question of being able to or not.
Really?
Last time I heard a phrase like this was "bath cancellation" (furo cancel — viral slang for skipping baths).
Background and Key Points of This Discussion
Kazuhisa Arakawa is a columnist specializing in the sociology of singlehood, and the data here comes from a survey of men and women in their 20s in Japan and South Korea (conducted in Japan July 6–8, and in South Korea June 29–July 3). The “never-dated rate” is a different metric from the unmarried rate, and the article’s main point is that it represents a stage even earlier than the “marriage aversion” trend of avoiding marriage. On the thread, opinions split between those who take a negative view of marriage itself due to financial burden and loss of freedom, and those who point to a social climate in which confessing one’s feelings is treated as “harassment.” That said, the source article doesn’t break down the specific gap between the Japanese and Korean figures or provide an age-based breakdown, so it’s worth being cautious that the 52.6% figure alone can easily take on a life of its own. It’s also worth noting that Arakawa’s broader claim — a shift from “marriage aversion” to “romance aversion” — is consistent with existing statistics, such as the government’s fertility trend survey, and isn’t just a one-off shock number.
*This article is compiled as an excerpt and summary from the 5ch (News Express+) thread “[Singlehood Researcher] Men in Their 20s: “52.6% Have Never Dated” — From “Marriage Cancellation” to Full-On “Love Cancellation” Era.”
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