Kazlaser Trashes Highly-Rated Soba Shop: “Mushy… Better Off Not Eating It”

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The story

Kazlaser (42), one half of the comedy duo Maple Chogokin, shared on his YouTube channel an episode about visiting a soba shop with glowing online reviews. The soba that came out was only about toothpick-length, cut into ragged bits and piled into a heap, with a texture so mushy he couldn’t even make out the aroma — in the end he had to scoop it up with a spoon. Following this scathing review, 5ch users debated the reliability of online reviews and which chain restaurants actually serve decent soba.

9/10 (Thu) 19:45

Kazlaser (42), of the comedy duo Maple Chogokin, appeared in an episode of the YouTube channel “Kazlaser and Shoinji’s Chill Room [Official],” updated by the 10th, where he described being let down at a restaurant that had rave online reviews.

Kazlaser said he visited a soba shop with high ratings online. The place had the look of a long-established, storied restaurant, and he’d gone in with high hopes — but, he said with a wry laugh, “Every single piece of soba that came out was only about as long as a toothpick. It was cut into ragged little bits, piled up in a heap. It was so mushy I couldn’t even tell what it smelled like, and since I couldn’t pick it up, I ended up just scooping it with a spoon.”

Source: news.yahoo.co.jp / Original article here

What people said

6AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:24
I've had this happen too — ate at a ramen place with huge lines and rave reviews, and the flavor was shockingly bland.
I figured they must've forgotten to add the seasoning and planned to go back and check… but the place went under before I could.
7AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:24
Unrelated, but tell us the name of a soba shop you've been to recently.
9AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:25
Wonder which shop it was.
Any of you have a guess?
10AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:25
I think he should just stick to talking about the Self-Defense Forces.
12AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:26
Is this popular with inbound foreign tourists?
I hear they can't slurp noodles, so maybe that's why the soba's cut short.
14AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:26
Given how it looked, maybe he got served the version made for foreigners who don't slurp their noodles?
15AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:27
If it's toothpick-length, that means:
the flour is old
it's been sitting a while since it was made
the water mixing (a key step in working the dough) was botched
it was overboiled
it got rinsed too roughly

Basically every sin a soba shop could possibly commit, all in one bowl.
16AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:27
A place using machines beats a badly hand-made indie shop any day.
After that it all comes down to the owner's eye for ingredients and the dipping sauce.
17AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:28
He's clearly been on edge ever since he married actress Fumi Nikaido, lol.
20AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:29
Re: #17
Probably not getting to eat as much meat as he wants.
25AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:34
Re: #17
He complains about something every single day.
Maybe he's just frustrated.
18AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:28
Celebrities' talk-show stories are always complaints about restaurants or taxis.
19AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:29
Basically, be suspicious of anything rated 4.5 or higher.
3.5–4.2 is the safe zone.
81AnonymousSep 10, 2026 22:09
Re: #19
Not a restaurant, but check out this motorcycle shop — it's sitting at 4.9, which is nuts.
Apparently you get a discount for leaving a good review.
The comments are blatant about it too, it's bad.
22AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:32
Fuji Soba, Yudetaro, and Hakone Soba (popular standing-soba chains) are all reliable.
26AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:37
Read the comments from people who left 1-star reviews and you'll get a pretty good sense of what the place is really like. Ignore the 5-stars — those can be bought. Some places even hire people through gig-work apps just to leave 5-star reviews.
29AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:40
Does genuinely good soba even exist? I went to one of those trendy soba shops in Matsumoto, and honestly couldn't tell the difference from boiling dried ni-hachi soba (80% buckwheat, 20% wheat noodles) at home. If anything, the dried stuff was better. If you actually know a good soba shop, let me know.
43AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:46
Re: #29
The stand-and-eat counter "Kasai" in front of Nakano Station.
The owner has a bad reputation for customer service, but the food's good.
Lots of repeat customers.
31AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:42
Just reading this makes it sound like they did it on purpose — what a terrible shop.
32AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:43
Maybe they just didn't like Kazu?
Well, even if they didn't like him, a shop that tanks its own quality out of spite has no pride and is trash. (^_^;)
Though places like Gyoza no Ohsho (a chain) really can vary wildly depending on which cook is on duty.
34AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:45
Not sure if he's stressed out or what, but lately it's been nothing but complaints and nitpicking from him.
36AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:45
Has Kazu's personality changed? He never used to be the type to say stuff like this.
38AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:46
But hey, his wife Fumi Nikaido must have fallen for him including this side of him, right?
39AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:46
Isn't Kazu supposed to be able to judge quality? The guy's nicknamed "Hyakushiki" (walking encyclopedia) for his trivia knowledge, after all.
41AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:46
He used to have such a positive-talk image — what happened to Kazu?
42AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:46
A lot of city shops with long lines really aren't all that great.
The udon place in Umeda I went to today charged ¥1,450, but I'm sure Marugame Seimen or Sukesan Udon (popular udon chains) taste better.
79AnonymousSep 10, 2026 22:07
Re: #42
Udon's such a simple food, it can't be that different no matter where you eat it.
44AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:47
This guy only ever complains or badmouths stuff.
46AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:48
Any line in Tokyo — if there's a low-tier college ("F-rank" university) nearby, you'll get a line of college girls no matter what the place is.
47AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:48
I like Donbei tempura soba (the instant cup noodles) better than what actual shops serve.
https://video.fc2.com/ja/content/20220228U77Wdv4z
48AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:48
The ownership probably changed hands, started prioritizing profit, and stopped putting effort into making the soba properly.
And then started using fake reviewers (sakura) to boost the ratings.
50AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:50
Former Takeo mayor Keisuke Hiwatashi — the guy behind that Starbucks-in-a-library project — his café is rated 4.9 lol
53AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:53
Other countries don't have a noodle-slurping culture, so even instant cup noodles overseas come cut into short pieces, right?
54AnonymousSep 10, 2026 21:53
Toothpick-length noodles — at that point it's basically sobagaki (buckwheat dumplings, not even shaped like noodles).
72AnonymousSep 10, 2026 22:04
Chain restaurant soba that's surprisingly good:

Tendon Tenya
Nakau
Komoro Soba
76AnonymousSep 10, 2026 22:05
Re: #72
What about Ogisoseifun?
Their operations are a mess
Not tasty
The only good part was the free sobayu (the soba-boiling water you drink at the end).
77AnonymousSep 10, 2026 22:07
As someone from western Japan, I've never really gotten this whole "soba aroma" thing.
I assume it means something like the smell of soba tea, but if so I'd just drink soba tea instead — and you season sobayu with the dipping sauce before drinking it anyway, right?
I don't get it, I'll just have zaru udon.
85AnonymousSep 10, 2026 22:10
Re: #77
The noodles themselves don't need to smell like anything.
What matters is the texture and the flavor of the dipping sauce.

Background and Key Points of This Topic

Online reviews typically run on a 5-star system, but in recent years there have been reports of businesses nudging ratings upward — offering discounts for good reviews, or having part-time staff post favorable ones — which has made many consumers wary of shops rated 4.5 stars or higher. The “soba cut to toothpick length” described in the thread points to specific failures in the cooking process itself — stale flour, poor dough-mixing technique, improper boiling — and is hard to write off as mere personal taste. On the other hand, the theory floated in the thread that the noodles were cut short to suit inbound tourists who supposedly can’t slurp noodles is pure speculation from commenters, with no confirmation from the shop itself. This article also leaves out baseless comments tying the story to Kazlaser’s married life, and is instead framed around the broader discussion of online restaurant review reliability.

*This article is excerpted and summarized from the 5ch (Entertainment/Sports News+) thread “Kazlaser Visits Highly-Rated Soba Shop… Ends Up Trashing It: “Mushy… Seriously Unbelievable. Better Off Not Eating It.”

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