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The story
The Yomiuri Shimbun’s advice column “Otekomachi” published a letter from a woman puzzled that she’s only ever confessed to by men with no dating experience, with advice columnist Mitsu Dan weighing in. A thread on 5ch’s Geisoku Sokuho+ board picked up the story and traded theories about what these men might have in common. Some argued that men with lots of dating experience tend to pursue women themselves rather than wait to confess, while others countered that experienced men confess more often precisely because they make so many attempts. The discussion also drifted toward what it might be about the woman herself that attracts this type of man.
Otekomachi
No matter who I am, I’ll be loved.
Advice Columnist: Mitsu Dan
Source: yomiuri.co.jp / Original article here
What people said
If anything, isn't it exactly the guys with drive and initiative who go from girlfriend to girlfriend without a gap?
More like someone who racks up hits without worrying about his batting average, so to speak.
It's the opposite.
Most guys with lots of dating experience never go single because they're the ones chasing women nonstop.
Guys who never go single because women come after them are a tiny minority.
You'll end up overlooking each other's flaws anyway, so just be upfront from the start.
Is that about the gist of it?
It's the fantasy that she won't look down on them and might settle for even a low-tier guy.
I get this. I'm the type who says "Let's go to a hotel! C'mon!" the very day I meet someone.
Popular guys are the exact opposite — it's the women who fall for them lol.
They know how to read distance, read the room, tell whether there's a chance — it's obvious from how the woman reacts, and they only go after women who seem winnable lol.
So is she basically confessing that she's being played by a man skilled at handling women? What an idiot.
If anything, she's describing a guy who's clearly out of his depth, can't even properly interact with women, and shows zero sign that any other woman has ever been into him.
The type that makes dating-inexperienced guys misread the signals — plain-but-cute and seemingly meek.
I had a female friend like that back in school.
A guy in her seminar, an obvious otaku type, told her something creepy like "You'd be cuter without makeup," and she was genuinely furious, saying "Why do I have to hear what some guy like that prefers?"
If you're counting brothel visits as dating experience, that's genuinely unhinged.
Why is this even on the entertainment/sports board?
>Advice Columnist: Mitsu Dan
I see. There really are women who give off that "you might have a shot" vibe.
Kind of easygoing, I guess.
I figured they liked it since it made them popular, but are there actually women out there seriously troubled by it lol
It's not about having feelings for her — guys just think they can sleep with her, or might be able to, so they go through the motions of confessing just in case.
Maybe she's just a woman whose maternal instincts have already bloomed?
Not to put it harshly, but keep approaching women and one will eventually bite.
No need to be picky — just go for anyone.
If you're even slightly interested, make your move immediately.
Asking how many people someone's dated before comes up naturally in conversation all the time…
If a woman looks sharp with her fashion and makeup, guys sense her standards for men are probably high too, so even the dating-inexperienced stop harboring weird fantasies.
Background and Key Points of the Debate
Otekomachi is a long-running advice column run by the Yomiuri Shimbun, and the segment featuring Mitsu Dan as respondent is a relatively recent addition. This post has her responding to a letter from a woman who says she’s only ever confessed to by men with no dating experience — but it’s worth noting that the thread barely quotes the actual substance of Dan’s reply; it’s really just the summarized letter that’s taken on a life of its own online. What split the thread was how to read the men doing the confessing: one theory held that men with lots of dating experience pursue women themselves and so don’t bother confessing, while the opposing theory held that it’s precisely those experienced men who confess more often, playing a numbers game. No consensus was reached. Also worth flagging is that the theory of a woman who “gives off a vibe that she’s within reach” recurred across several posts, even though the letter itself gives no details about the woman’s appearance or behavior — meaning readers are largely filling in their own assumptions to fuel the debate.
*This article is compiled from excerpts and a summary of the 5ch (Geisoku Sokuho+) thread “[Advice Wanted] Puzzled That Only Men With No Dating Experience Confess to Me.”
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