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The story
In a lawsuit filed by a 35-year-old woman against a man who dated her while hiding that he was married, claiming “infringement of her right to sexual fidelity,” a court on July 21 ordered him to pay ¥1.21 million. The woman had originally sought ¥3 million in damages, but during settlement talks the judge told her, “If you settle, he says he’ll pay ¥1.25 million. You shouldn’t fixate on this — you ought to move on with your life sooner rather than later.” Angered by this, she refused to settle and filed suit instead. In the end, the court-awarded amount came in below the very settlement she had turned down, and on 5ch opinions split over whether the judge’s remarks were appropriate, whether the award was adequate, and the difference between pre-suit settlement talks and a court-recommended settlement after litigation.
The “fake-single” problem was also covered earlier this year in the March 3–10 issue of Josei Shichi (Weekly Woman). Married men pretend to be single and pursue relationships with women who assume marriage is on the table. The danger lurks not only on matchmaking sites but in everyday encounters too, and reader response has been substantial — the topic has been picked up by other outlets as well.
Sakura (a pseudonym, 35), who spoke to our magazine about what happened to her, filed suit claiming “infringement of her right to sexual fidelity,” and on July 21 the court ordered the man responsible to pay her ¥1.21 million. She walked us through everything, from the settlement talks that began in October 2024 to the conclusion of the lawsuit she filed in April 2025.
First, let’s revisit what happened to Sakura.
Source: news.yahoo.co.jp / Original article here
What people said
The law already has a rough landing point more or less fixed in advance.
The judge knew that no matter how much the woman pushed back, it wasn't going to change anything.
Still, the judge shouldn't have said that part out loud.
You just don't understand what that means.
Honestly, how malicious this really is is hard to judge.
I mean, how many people even go into a relationship without embellishing their status or position at all?
Lying about dating history, lying about age, lying about assets, lying about income —
there's no end to that stuff, so singling out marital status alone for harsh punishment is a tough ask.
Apparently guys who do this trade tips with each other on social media and stuff.
That's pretty malicious.
Re: #95
Something to work on going forward.
The guy's definitely scum, but the woman's way too persistent too.
That's exactly how she ended up a single mother.
Exactly.
Also, not noticing for years while dating him is way too oblivious.
The judge's an absolute idiot, lol
The ruling gave her ¥1.21 million in damages.
The settlement offer was actually a bit higher, no?
Was a judge really present at the mediation?
Isn't that a mix-up with a mediation commissioner?
The actual court award came in below the settlement anyway, so the judge was right.
Probably watched too many TV dramas and manga.
Sounds like she just didn't want to settle.
She wanted to go to trial and make it official that he was the one in the wrong.
I get that, but still…
She asked for ¥3 million and ended up with less than that in damages — something about that feels off.
She's probably in the red once you factor in court costs too.
I'd at least want it to add up to the settlement amount plus legal fees.
Though the judge probably pushed the settlement knowing full well it wouldn't turn out that way.
But yeah, the judge wasn't exactly wrong either, lol.
I get it, but read the room before saying that!
There's no "next time" for her here.
Don't go pouring gasoline on the fire.
Of course she snapped.
I bet at home his wife gives him the exasperated "you're such an idiot…" look.
It's basically a marriage scam.
That's just not true.
A judge (👩⚖) doesn't get involved in settlement talks.
Hmm, I'm not so sure.
Honestly, my guess is it was a female judge who said something this tone-deaf.
The judge said it'd only be a few hundred thousand yen, but she got a solid amount — so the judge was the one who got it wrong.
Well, normally that's about all you'd get.
But this time the defendant had already offered up to ¥1.25 million.
Still, they probably shaved the number down a bit so people wouldn't get the idea that "suing is the better move."
Hence landing around ¥1.21 million, I'd guess.
*Note: "fake-single" (dokushin gisou) means a married person pretending to be single and using that false belief to pursue a relationship, sex included.
It means having sex with someone while letting them believe you're single — someone who, had they known you were married, would never have agreed to meet you, let alone date you.
That is not a relationship built on genuine consent.
We see this issue as more than mere "infidelity" — it's a serious act of harm that violates a person's sexual self-determination and dignity.
Toward making the harm visible, preventing it, supporting victims, and building the legal framework needed. We're working toward a society where no one has to just swallow it, and where no one is made to.
https://dokushingiso.com/
So faking virginity, or faking "I don't have a boyfriend," counts as a sex crime too, right?
That's just not true.
A judge (👩⚖) doesn't get involved before it goes to court!
That's family court you're thinking of.
In civil cases, especially damages claims, judges usually push for settlement.
That way they skip writing up a full ruling, and the case gets closed out easily.
You dummy!
The original article is about a judge (👩⚖) somehow showing up during the settlement talks, things falling apart, and that's why she filed suit.
Why's a judge wandering the streets, anyway.
That's a pre-suit settlement you're talking about.
This is a post-suit (post-filing) settlement — there are two different kinds.
Honestly, this happens all the time in practice.
Once the court tips its hand like this through a settlement push, the award basically never goes up in the final ruling — barring some ultra-rare twist.
Sounds like the lawyer was trying to push an immediate settlement through, but the judge said something unnecessary at the settlement hearing and blew the whole thing up.
Google "immediate settlement" (sokketsu wakai).
You dummy!
That's after filing suit!
The original article is about before filing suit!
So that's just wrong!
Re: #113
You dummy!
The original article is about settlement negotiations!
Go look up what "immediate settlement" actually means!
That's pre-filing, isn't it.
They were trying for an immediate settlement at the stage before actually filing the damages lawsuit.
The moment a judge stepped in and pushed for settlement, this became a court-mediated settlement — that's what this is.
Article 89 of the Code of Civil Procedure. You doing okay?
Because they're servants of the law 🤣
If they had one of those, they'd end up broke.
Background and key points of this discussion
“Fake-single” refers to married people pretending to be single in order to date or have sexual relationships — an issue magazines like Josei Shichi have covered repeatedly. Because it’s hard to prosecute criminally, the main path to relief tends to be a civil tort claim for infringement of one’s right to sexual fidelity or sexual self-determination, seeking damages — which is why the gap between the amount demanded and the amount awarded tends to be large. Tracing the timeline here: settlement talks began in October 2024, broke down, she filed suit in April 2025, and the ruling came down on July 21. In the thread, procedural questions like “was the judge actually there at the settlement talks?” and “aren’t settlement and court-mediated settlement different things?” kept coming up. This appears to stem from the fact that Japan’s civil procedure — where a judge only gets directly involved via a post-filing court settlement recommendation, rather than by sitting in on pre-filing settlement talks themselves — isn’t widely understood. The fact that the awarded amount ended up below the settlement she turned down is also a sore point, since it means the judge’s push for settlement was effectively vindicated, which is part of why opinions are so split.
*This article is excerpted and summarized from the 5ch (News Express+) thread “A 35-year-old woman’s confession after being deceived by a man’s “fake-single” act — she snapped at the judge’s “don’t fixate on this” and filed a “sexual fidelity infringement” lawsuit.”
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