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A thread on 5ch’s Hello! Project board posed the question: “Aren’t you guys actually in real love with your idols?” Opinions split right away over whether a relationship that only works if you pay for it can be called love at all, and whether obsessive feelings for an “oshi” (favorite member) even count as romantic feelings in the first place. The talk then spread to how posters handle one-on-one meet-and-greet events, personal stories about how fans’ emotional distance from the hobby shifts with age, and a recent shift toward supporting an idol more like “cheering on a sports team.” What came through most clearly was just how differently each poster defines “gachi-koi” (being genuinely, seriously in love with an idol) to begin with.
What people said
then where does that kind of motivation even come from?
since you can't ever actually date them anyway.
shouldn't you go for Nogizaka46 or somewhere like that instead?
The moment you need to pay money just to do anything, it's not love, period.
I really do want her dating someone, ideally a male idol.
but I'd love to see her marry a pro baseball player.
so I skip the one-on-one meet-and-greets.
Just watching my oshi on stage is enough for me.
If you're going to do it, go all in or not at all.
your oshi is basically on a conveyor belt too, not something to be truly serious about, just a swappable part on the ship.
Enjoying it as a fantasy is about the right dose.
Not sure if that's actually a good thing lol.
Guys in their 30s can still get some attention.
These days it's more like supporting a sports team, wanting them to sell more and succeed.
The fandom exists to make that happen.
That's exactly the feeling, it's close to watching sports.
I don't really get the 'romantic feelings' part, but basically it's just wanting to feel connected, right?
Just thinking it without acting on it doesn't count as 'gachi-koi.'
That bar is way too low.
An otaku in his 40s looks like he's in his 50s to the general public, after all.
The members get along great with otaku who are that age or even younger too.
Seeing that totally kills my vibe.
Right now I'm sharpening my talents, polishing my looks, and working toward a status that matches my oshi.
Then someday, I'll go create a chance to meet her privately.
Now that's a real man.
Good luck out there.
An idol is someone you support from afar.
I barely even go to events held in my own hometown.
Come on, at least go to that one…
but CD release events make it really, blatantly obvious,
you're better off not watching the handshake/benefit sessions.
Give us a bit more detail.
I do have a favorite member picked out, but I'm basically a 'box oshi' (support the whole group).
I go to shows because the concerts themselves are fun.
That, plus the traveling is fun too.
Background and Key Points of This Debate
“Gachi-koi” is a term that took root in idol-otaku culture sometime after the 2010s, describing the attitude of holding genuine romantic feelings for one’s oshi, but whether a relationship that only works through money changing hands deserves to be called “love” has long been disputed. The thread revealed a temperature gap between “hardcore” fans who regularly attend one-on-one meet-and-greets and handshake/benefit events, and “box-oshi”/”DD”-type fans who are there mainly to enjoy the concerts themselves. Hello! Project also tends to keep members in its groups for long stretches compared to groups with faster lineup turnover, which creates fertile ground for discussion about the age gap between fans and members and the age makeup of the fanbase, the comment that “guys in their 40s don’t get noticed” is an extension of that. Worth noting: the standard for “gachi-koi” discussed here varies wildly from poster to poster, some use it in a sexual sense, others use it to mean a more parental wish for the idol’s marriage and happiness, and the thread itself ends up being as much about confirming how fuzzy that definition is as anything else. Comments containing judgments or assumptions about specific individuals have been left out of this summary.
※This article is excerpted and summarized from the 5ch (Hello! Project board) thread “Aren’t You Guys Actually in Real Love?“
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