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The story
A thread titled “I’m bored, so I’ll reply to everyone” appeared on 5ch’s News VIP board, with a single middle-aged man answering the board’s questions one by one. On the physical side, he admitted to the effects of aging, saying he’d “gotten weak to oily food” and “put on weight easily,” and revealed his appetite has “shrunk surprisingly” — though his erections, he says, are “still totally fine.” He’s one of four siblings in a family of six, though they’re all scattered now, and he himself is single. His hobbies include watching baseball, comedy, and idol videos on Tver (a Japanese TV catch-up streaming app), and while he only finished high school, he says he still reads books. A fellow resident, apparently also 47, joined in, and the two swapped notes on the side effects of hair-loss medication and how their popularity with women has changed over the years.
What people said
Or is it more like people go "lol, this is fun, I'll rip it off and start my own!"
I've done this a few times myself, just changing the thread title.
Doesn't feel like copying to me — there must be tons of similar threads out there.
Let's see…
The classic stuff — I've gotten weak to oily food and I gain weight way too easily.
I used to think middle-aged guys saying "I put on weight easily" were just making excuses, but it's actually real.
I'm one of 4 siblings in a family of 6, but we've all been scattered for a long time now.
I'm single.
Erections are still totally fine.
But compared to the old days, it doesn't build back up in just 3 days like it used to.
Has how much you eat actually gone down?
It's dropped surprisingly.
When I do eat, I eat, but I get full fast.
Hard to believe there was a time I could eat two go of rice (about 300g) and not gain weight.
Take care of your health.
Well, it's an occasional indulgence.
Even on days off I rarely do this, but there's nothing else to do.
Nice, booze sounds good.
I've got my part-time shift coming up soon so I can't drink.
A senior!
Anything worth watching out for once you're past 40?
Thanks for working at this hour.
I really have gotten weight-gain-prone.
Drink too much and your body starts falling apart.
I guess that's just how it goes?
I'm also on hair-loss medication, so my sperm output's gotten worse.
I used to be popular with girls in their teens and 20s all through my 30s, but not so much anymore.
Guess that's just how it goes.
The physical decline is the toughest part.
I already feel that way, and it gets worse from here…
Good grief.
Though I don't drink as much as I used to these days.
Being unpopular is my destiny~
Also, life genuinely speeds up.
Feels like I was just 40, and now I'm already 47.
Are you single?
That part's actually kind of nice.
Waiting for time to pass is the hard bit.
I'm single.
No girlfriend either.
./ *・ω・ヽ A 46-year-old has arrived
Ri… never mind.
It's a secret!
Oh, it's Zaba~-san.
Re: #43
I was supposed to be long dead by now too, honestly.
Rather die before getting old, huh.
True, I never really went after single women my own age.
A middle-aged guy's a middle-aged guy, what'd you expect.
What does this guy even live for?
Booze isn't really it lately, so food I guess.
Also interesting videos (not shorts).
./ *・ω・ヽ What's the old guy having for dinner?
Haven't decided yet.
Maybe I'll have udon.
Not sure what I'll do.
Guess I'll figure it out later.
Women in their 40s and 50s are pretty rough, huh…
I just wish I could live happily.
Honestly, your 40s and 50s are rough…
What videos are you watching, old man?
Mainly Tver, I'd say.
I watch that while half-watching baseball and other sports.
Also comedy shows and idol videos.
Re: #56
This guy's life sounds kind of empty.
Couldn't you study back in school?
Yeah, the things you enjoy just dwindle.
Speaking from experience, I've gotten to where I can sit through pretty much any sport now.
I just kind of leave the TV on.
If she's good-looking, a woman in her 40s is about as far as I could go, personally.
Having a hobby would help.
I get it, I end up half-watching volleyball while messing with my phone too.
A good-looking woman in her 40s, huh — sure, that could work, but I've never actually met one.
Like you probably guessed —
high school grad.
But I do read books.
Not completely uncultured.
Oh, nice.
What kind of books do you read?
Thanks.
Maybe again sometime.
Background and Talking Points
The “answer every reply” format is a classic pastime on 5ch’s News VIP board, where the thread starter diligently responds to every question other users throw at them. This time, a self-described “middle-aged guy” fielded questions about aging with striking candor, opening up about highly individual topics like changes in stamina, libido, and appetite. At one point another resident, apparently around the same age, chimed in about semen volume dropping as a side effect of hair-loss medication — the kind of detail that only comes up when people going through the same thing compare notes. That said, by the end of the thread some commenters were calling it “empty,” so opinions on the content were mixed. The thread also contained a reference to an unresolved past incident, but since the facts couldn’t be verified, it hasn’t been included in this article.
※This article is excerpted and summarized from the 5ch (News VIP) thread “I’m bored, so I’ll reply to everyone.”
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