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The story
A post appeared on 5ch’s “Nandemo Jikkyo G” board from a man who says his college-student neighbor suspects him of stealing her underwear. The poster denied the theft, revealing that he had feelings for her and had been giving her gifts of persimmons and figs grown at his family’s home. The thread split between commenters pointing out that “if there’s security camera footage, she should just report it to the police” and others questioning how he even knew the stolen underwear was hidden under a towel. When it turned out the poster was a 51-year-old man, the mood of the thread suddenly shifted to bewilderment.
What people said
I won't tell anyone, so be honest.
I really didn't do it (crying)
Re: #3
Honestly she's a super cute girl and I like her, but I didn't do it!
If I had to pick, probably panties.
Show her the underwear clutched in your hand.
Apparently she's already been targeted three times, and yesterday she tried to trap me into confessing — it was a shock…
She said, "Actually, I have camera footage and it clearly shows the culprit's face, so I'd really like you to come forward…" — she's completely convinced I'm the culprit.
If the culprit's on camera and she's still suspecting you, he must look a lot like you (OP)…
Then why hasn't she reported it to the police?
She always hangs it hidden under a towel, so I wouldn't know.
Re: #13
I'm not into that kind of thing either…
Women don't hang their underwear out on the balcony.
that's basically charity work at this point.
I was shocked because I didn't even know that had happened to her before.
Re: #19
That just sounds like she's completely trying to trick me into confessing…
I think she's probably figured out that I have feelings for her.
Re: #17
Yeah, she hangs it hidden under a towel.
If it's hidden under a towel, how would you even know what's under there?
Oh… (I see where this is going)
I mean, it's obviously underwear under there.
I'm on the first floor.
Re: #23
I can tell that much, but I didn't take it.
Do the opposite — call the police yourself and prove you're innocent.
Then dangle a defamation lawsuit over her and have her "pay it off" with her body.
Guess you're the culprit after all.
Getting assumed guilty just because you're on the first floor is extra infuriating, if you really didn't do it.
Since I'm on the first floor, there are plenty of ways an outside culprit could be responsible, but she's already 100% convinced it's me. I was so shocked I just froze up, and then she said, "What's wrong? Are you okay?" — at that point it wasn't even anger anymore, just pure emotional exhaustion.
Just give up, put the panties on your head, and turn yourself in.
She'd apparently noticed a while ago that I had feelings for her, so maybe that's what backfired on me…
I'd have called them immediately.
If she tries to trap me into confessing like that again, I'm going to clearly say "It's not me!" this time.
Last time I was so flustered I just went "Huh? Huh? Huh?" which probably looked suspicious, so next time I'm going to deny it properly and completely.
I'm already a 51-year-old middle-aged man.
Yeah, that's no good.
Just saying hello probably terrifies the poor girl.
Background and Key Points of This Discussion
Theft is not a crime that requires a formal complaint to prosecute, so if the accuser really has “evidence,” the normal course of action would be to report it to the police and let an investigation proceed. Several comments in the thread questioned “why not just call the police,” zeroing in on exactly this procedural inconsistency. The poster, meanwhile, felt he’d been given no chance to explain himself — pressed face-to-face to “come forward” with no physical way to prove his innocence. What’s easy to miss is that it wasn’t any piece of evidence that shifted the thread’s mood, but simply the reveal that he was 51 years old. It’s a telling example of how the same claim can land completely differently depending on the age or attributes of the person making it.
*This article is excerpted and summarized from the 5ch (“Nandemo Jikkyo G”) thread “My college-student neighbor suspects me of being an underwear thief…“
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