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The story
A thread titled "Is it a nuisance to be invited to dinner by a 56-year-old woman?" posted on 5ch’s Nnews VIP board drew a lot of reactions. The poster, a 56-year-old woman, said she invited the 25-year-old man who tutors her son out for a meal, only to be met with a look of annoyance. Opinions in the thread split by perspective: some argued that in this day and age, inviting someone with a big age gap to a one-on-one meal is bound to raise red flags; others said that if you’re going to invite someone, you should offer something in return, like treating them; and some said it would be totally fine if the other person were in their 20s.
What people said
Every week would drain my wallet though.
He looked so uncomfortable, I think it's specifically me he doesn't like.
And yet here she is. An old-timer who's been around since the Train Man days (a famous 2004 5ch romance story that made the site mainstream).
Treat him. Let him order whatever he wants.
If he's in his 20s it's actually fine,
but if he's in his 30s that'd be terrifying.
He's in his 20s.
He felt like a son or nephew to me, so he seemed easy to invite — but he was annoyed anyway.
He's about 25, a university student.
If some 56-year-old geezer had done the same thing to you back when you were young, how would you feel?
Huh?
Honestly, I probably would've just let him pay without thinking twice.
one-on-one is a no-go.
Bring some other young women along and make it a group thing.
I didn't know anyone else to bring, and treating three people would sting my wallet a bit.
Are you trying to have an affair?
I don't have a husband.
But if you don't like the lady, the food just tastes bad, right?
Lucky.
Want to be best friends with me too?
I was being sympathetic because I assumed we were talking about a young coworker at her company, but this is a whole different situation.
Is he a former student? Is he currently tutoring her son, at 25? What's actually going on here?
Calm down.
He's my kid's tutor (カテキョ, slang for 'katekyo' / home tutor).
saying it was rough getting hit on by the old lady at his tutoring job.
That's fine by me.
I just figure, hey, at least he's got something to talk about at drinking parties now.
What do you mean by 'not personal'?
Maybe he figured she was rich.
Background and key points of this discussion
This thread gained traction against a backdrop where, regardless of gender or age, there’s growing wariness around inviting someone to a one-on-one meal in the first place. Among the replies, some argued that the person extending the invitation should offer something in return (like treating the other person), while others pointed out that reactions shift depending on the other person’s age bracket — so the debate centered less on the age gap itself and more on "how the invitation was made" and the "asymmetry in their positions." One point readers can easily misread: the poster didn’t invite him with romantic intentions from the start — later replies reveal she invited her son’s tutor more in the spirit of treating him "like a nephew or son." Without that context, it’s easy to misjudge the overall tone of the thread.
*This article is excerpted and summarized from the 5ch (Nnews VIP) thread "Is it a nuisance to be invited to dinner by a 56-year-old woman?"
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