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The story
A post went viral online after a woman said she was put off when she learned that the man she’d met on a dating app — who had invited her on a picnic date to Hakone — didn’t own a car. The post was picked up on 5ch’s “Nandemo Jikkyo G” board, where opinions split over whether a car is really necessary for a picnic. Some argued you can easily reach Hakone by train or the Romancecar, while others countered that a car makes more sense for comfort and carrying gear, and the debate spread into the question of who should be responsible for transportation on a date — the man or the woman.
■ The man who asked me on a picnic date doesn’t have a “car” — I was so put off…
A man I met on a dating app invited me on a picnic date the other day.
We ended up planning to go to Hakone.
Source: anond.hatelabo.jp / Original post here
What people said
What, you planning to grill up some Mongolian mutton (jingisukan) out there?
Sounds like your only picnic experience is a kid's school field trip.
Just take the Tokyo Metro to your picnic then, why don't you?
Probably what "the woman" (mansan, 5ch slang for women) was picturing is more like day-camping. The guy (chinsan, 5ch slang for men) probably just meant a light hike — backpack with a bento, drinks, and a blanket, eat lunch wherever the view's nice.
Nah, if you had even a bit of a social circle you'd know this is weird. Are you a total loner?
You wouldn't go from Yokohama Station via the Odakyu line — you'd take the Tokaido Line to Odawara. Either way, no one would bother with something that convoluted for a day trip.
Lol, so provoking woman-bashing is bad, but man-bashing is totally fine?
Taking trains and buses for a day trip is just a hassle, isn't it?
Just riding a train is way easier than driving an hour from Yokohama to Hakone. Makes no sense to me.
Tourist spots are packed anyway — the train's the easier option.
What kind of huge luggage are you even bringing to a picnic…? Are you going mountain climbing or something?
What's there to carry for a picnic besides a blanket and some food?
Part of the fun is stopping at a good restaurant along the way in the car and talking in your own little bubble together. What a stingy way to look at it.
It's really just that either way is fine. At the very least, it's absolutely not "unthinkable" the way this woman makes it sound. And telling someone who doesn't own a car and doesn't normally drive to suddenly drive for an hour is harsh too.
I mean, her reaction is basically "ugh, what a pain." Her mood just dropped. I get the feeling, honestly.
If anyone's dealing with a hassle here, it's the guy — since when did it become a given that the man drives two hours round trip?
True, where would you even park?
If that's the standard, wouldn't he pick her up from home on the way there too? Meeting at the station in the first place suggests they'd probably just part ways there as well.
Background and Key Points of the Debate
The original post came from the anonymous diary site anond.hatelabo.jp, and it’s a familiar pattern for a personal story like this to spread on 5ch along with a mix of support and backlash. Hakone is a destination reachable by train from central Tokyo or Yokohama via the Odakyu Romancecar or the Tokaido Line, so the thread saw “you can get there fine without a car” collide head-on with “a car is more comfortable for a date.” Underlying the debate is disagreement over whether driving and arranging transportation should be seen as the man’s role, along with the broader dynamic in dating-app matchmaking where owning a car can become a yardstick men get judged by. At the same time, some replies mocked the post using language tied to discrimination against people with disabilities — this article excludes those comments.
*This article is excerpted and summarized from the 5ch (Nandemo Jikkyo G) thread “Woman: ‘The man who asked me on a picnic date doesn’t have a car… I was so put off. Maybe he has a mild intellectual disability?’”
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