A thread on 5ch’s “Nandemo Jikkyo G” (Whatever Live) board blew up after a poster confessed he can’t stop visiting sekkyaba clubs — hostess bars where staff flirt and allow some physical contact but stop short of sex. Going once a week, the original poster admitted the clubs have become his “third place as a middle-aged guy,” and other users chimed in to compare them with soaplands and deriheru (outcall escort services). The discussion ranged widely: why a “no sex” business model can be so addictive, the gap in mindset with guys who prefer men’s massage parlors instead, and even a confession from a married man secretly still visiting while his wife is pregnant. Posters traded tips on how to enjoy the clubs and debated how often was too often.
It's basically become my third place as a middle-aged guy.
The girl I wanted was already booked by someone else, so I went in as a walk-in and cycled through 4 girls, but every single one had something off — either looks or service.
Walk-ins basically only get the leftovers.
Only the very last girl they send you is actually good — that's so you'll pay to extend and book her by name next time.
Wouldn't a normal place that actually goes all the way be more fun?
I used to be all about finishing, but now that I'm older I don't really need to anymore. Honestly getting a buzz going, flirting, making out hard, and groping some boobs is the fun part now.
I don't really get the appeal.
It's a place to cheaply enjoy some boob-groping and deep kissing, that's the whole point.
If you like drinking with girls, you'll get hooked.
Also, regular sex work is pretty predictable, but with sekkyaba you genuinely never know what's going to happen.
Huh, is that right.
If I got that far with a girl I'd end up wanting to finish, personally.
That's the surprising thing — not finishing is actually the good part.
Seriously, trust me on this and give it one more shot. It's more satisfying than a soapland.
You mean you can't quit either?
Exactly this.
With soaplands and deriheru, once you go, you're satisfied for a while and don't need to go back right away.
But with sekkyaba, the day after you go, you already want to go again. My brain must be broken.
Thanks.
By the way, do you always go alone?
Always solo!
Though sometimes a buddy gets hyped up and tags along.
Which kind of place? Do you want to quit?
Sekkyaba is just kissing, so it's probably fine on that front.
so I can't really relate to OP's feelings.
Are there even any "normal" people on Nanchan G (this board)?
I'll just stop going once my favorite girl quits.
Must be nice having a favorite girl.
If you end up doing two sets it gets pretty pricey though.
Ikebukuro, nice. That's basically the holy land for this stuff.
If it's fun, make sure to start a report thread on Nanchan G.
At my worst I was going 3-4 times a week.
I picked cheap places, but between bar-hopping and paying for extensions, it really did a number on my wallet.
Four times a week, wow.
If I were still single I might've ended up the same way.
Guess it really takes a toll, huh?
No, I'm actually married.
Between us, I married a former sekkyaba girl.
She's pregnant right now, but I'm still secretly going to sekkyaba.
You're basically the chosen son of the sekkyaba world.
Your wife probably doesn't expect you to quit entirely, so just don't overdo it (says the guy who can't quit himself).
That's too strong.
Well, once the baby's born you probably won't be able to go for a while, so enjoy it while you can.
Problem is I don't have the guts to go alone.
I just want a girl to straddle me face-to-face and make out.
It's a place you're supposed to go alone, man.
Get some liquid courage at a girls' bar first, then go.
Background and Key Points of This Discussion
Sekkyaba (short for “sexy cabaret club”) operates under Japan’s license for food-and-drink entertainment businesses, which legally places it in a different category from soaplands and deriheru — both classified as “adult entertainment special businesses.” On paper, sekkyaba clubs are not supposed to involve actual intercourse. As one poster put it, “it’s just kissing and boobs, so it’s fine” — the trade-off for this limited scope of contact is that prices tend to be cheaper. Where opinions in the thread diverged was over why this “no sex” business model can be even more addictive than soaplands: posters pointed to the unpredictability of each visit, since the outcome is never quite the same, as well as a difference in values between those who go purely for the human connection with the women and those who prefer men’s massage parlors or deriheru instead. The thread also included a confession about a poster going too far with a former girlfriend and the legal trouble that followed, but since that touches on an actual incident and possible legal proceedings, it has been left out of this article.
※This article is excerpted and summarized from the 5ch (“Nandemo Jikkyo G”) thread “How to Quit Going to Sekkyaba.”
