At the World Humanoid Robot Games in Beijing, China, a humanoid robot ran the 100m dash in 9.32 seconds, beating Usain Bolt’s world record of 9.58 seconds. However, after crossing the finish line it failed to decelerate in time, crashed into the safety mat, and caught fire — and on 5ch, the reactions focused less on the record itself and more on the “fiery finish” punchline, along with concerns about future military applications.
Chinese humanoid robot beats Usain Bolt in the 100m with a time of 9.32 seconds… then slams into the mat and catches fire after the finish line
[Beijing — Ryosuke Terunuma] The “World Humanoid Robot Games,” a sporting competition testing the performance of humanoid robots, opened in Beijing on the 22nd. In the men’s 100m preliminary heat, a humanoid robot clocked 9.32 seconds (provisional), surpassing Usain Bolt’s human world record of 9.58 seconds.
(Omitted below — please check the source for the rest of the article)
Source: news.yahoo.co.jp / Original article here
2AnonymousAug 23, 2026 23:33
Re: #1
Crashes into the mat and catches fire after the finish line
This robot really knows how to land a joke
Funnier than Yoshimoto (Japan's biggest comedy talent agency)
27AnonymousAug 24, 2026 18:01
Re: #2
Apparently at a US 155mm artillery shell plant, a robot arm went haywire and sent a shell casing flying
then smashed a self-driving cart and slammed into a wall — instead of catching fire, it just blew a huge hole in the wall
3AnonymousAug 23, 2026 23:40
The fact that it's literally on fire is hilarious
4AnonymousAug 24, 2026 00:53
🔥Chariots of Fire (the Japanese title of the film — and now literally true)
19AnonymousAug 24, 2026 09:38
Re: #4
Couldn't make the turn, crashed into the guardrail, and caught fire
5AnonymousAug 24, 2026 01:08
If it's gonna happen anyway, it would've been funnier if it caught fire mid-run
6AnonymousAug 24, 2026 03:36
Guess it can't slow down
7AnonymousAug 24, 2026 03:45
Do this somewhere with enough space to actually stop
9AnonymousAug 24, 2026 06:05
It could probably do the 400m in like 37 seconds too
10AnonymousAug 24, 2026 06:11
Hope the energy pack technology keeps improving
13AnonymousAug 24, 2026 08:30
Let's make it race Karl-kun (likely a nod to sprint legend Carl Lewis)
15AnonymousAug 24, 2026 08:41
Humanoid robots still don't have the durability for practical use… disposable applications only for now
16AnonymousAug 24, 2026 08:44
It's a machine — it should be able to run 100m in 2 or even 3 seconds if they really pushed it.
17AnonymousAug 24, 2026 08:55
What I'd really want to see is emergency braking beyond human capability — that's the kind of thing a robot should be doing
20AnonymousAug 24, 2026 10:05
It's hilarious, but this is actually a big deal
Still, China really is fixated on humanoid robots
21AnonymousAug 24, 2026 10:12
Truly Chariots of Fire
Vangelis's theme is playing in my head right now
23AnonymousAug 24, 2026 10:35
Now I can picture it — our future in elder care
24AnonymousAug 24, 2026 10:43
Probably not light, and looks pretty hard
Getting hit by that would hurt — like a real "insurance-scam pedestrian" (someone who deliberately steps in front of vehicles for a payout)
25AnonymousAug 24, 2026 12:43
Guess it'll end up used for trench warfare or amphibious landings?
34AnonymousAug 24, 2026 20:32
Re: #25
The one that charges at enemies of Her Majesty is the Panjandrum (a WWII British experimental rocket-propelled explosive wheel that famously went out of control)
The one that charges at enemies of General Secretary Xi Jinping is the robot conscript from Re: #1 (i.e., a Chinese army private)
37AnonymousAug 24, 2026 21:03
Re: #25
Yeah. Though right now all it can manage is a suicidal "banzai charge."
26AnonymousAug 24, 2026 14:44
The way it collapses and burns at the end is the best part
28AnonymousAug 24, 2026 19:16
Re: #1
If this had happened in Japan, people would probably criticize the safety issue from the fire more than praise the good time.
Over there they seem willing to just laugh off both the failure and the safety concerns, which might actually make for a better environment for R&D.
29AnonymousAug 24, 2026 19:16
It'd be terrifying if a hundred of these came charging at you in a line
and then they explode at the end on top of that
They'll probably learn to handle rough terrain too
This is Terminator territory, no doubt
And China would rush to put these to military use in no time
30AnonymousAug 24, 2026 19:34
As long as the battery holds out, it could probably keep running for miles at this speed
31AnonymousAug 24, 2026 19:43
Can't think of any use for this besides a military kamikaze attack
32AnonymousAug 24, 2026 20:24
Re: #1
Pretty dramatic ending, not bad at all
36AnonymousAug 24, 2026 20:46
Wouldn't it be more productive to have them manufacture things instead of running track meets?
…oh right, China's currently dealing with a serious demand shortage.
38AnonymousAug 24, 2026 21:06
Burned out, pure white to the end (a callback to the famous line from the boxing manga Ashita no Joe)
39AnonymousAug 24, 2026 21:16
Getting hit by a machine like that would be no joke.
*This article is compiled and summarized from the 5ch (Science News+) thread “Chinese Humanoid Robot Beats Usain Bolt in the 100m With 9.32 Seconds… Then Crashes Into the Mat and Catches Fire After the Finish Line.”