Med Student: “Phew… Phew… I got my medical license… Now let’s go fix everyone’s anuses!” → Becomes a proctologist

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The story

A thread went up on 5ch’s “Nandemo Jikkyou G” (Live Anything) board where a med student pumped himself up, declaring, “I studied like crazy and finally got my medical license… now, time to fix everyone’s anuses!”

The thread kicked off with jokes about what proctologists are even for and cracks like “they stare at other people’s anuses 24/7, 365 days a year,” before spiraling into a broader debate about the popularity and pecking order of different medical specialties — OB-GYN, pediatrics, psychiatry, cardiac surgery, and more.

What people said

1AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:21
Nah, that's not how it's gonna go.
2AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:21
"Now, let's go ogle actresses' butts for free!" is more like it.
3AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:21
Nah, proctologists are a blessing.
4AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:22
Proctologists have nasty personalities though.
6AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:23
Re: #4
Well yeah, when all you look at is other people's anuses 24/7, 365 days a year, your personality's bound to get twisted.
50AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:41
Re: #6
Come on, they must have SOME time when they're not looking at anuses.
7AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:23
A proctologist saved me as a kid, and that's what made me want to become one myself.
9AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:24
Proctology is important, obviously.
We're not kids here.
10AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:25
Stuff like this slowly chips away at the field, and if proctology specialists end up drastically dwindling down the road, it's us who'll be in trouble.
If cosmetic surgeons vanished, nobody would care, but if doctors who actually treat disease disappear, we're the ones who'd suffer — I don't get what people are trying to accomplish.
11AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:25
If your anus goes bad, life gets miserable real fast — of course it's important.
14AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:26
How far does a proctologist's territory actually extend?
Internally, up to the sigmoid colon?
Externally, all the way to the crack??
15AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:27
But doctors check every box of the "4K" jobs — stinky, dirty, brutal, and loaded (a riff on Japan's "3K" label for tough/dirty/dangerous jobs, with "rich" tacked on here).
16AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:27
I'm a med student myself, and I don't know a single guy around me who wants to go into OB-GYN.
Even our OB-GYN professor said, "I probably shouldn't say this, but honestly, we really wish more male students would go into obstetrics and gynecology."
17AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:28
Nobody said proctologists "don't need to exist," so saying "it's important" isn't actually a rebuttal to anything.
18AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:28
Reasons to go into it: the bar's high since you need experience across multiple fields like gastroenterology, so competition is low.
Surprisingly, a lot of women have hemorrhoids too, so patients aren't scarce.
And there's basically no risk of a fatal medical accident.
27AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:31
Where does it fall in the doctor hierarchy, I wonder? I'd guess surgeons and ER doctors sit at the top.
101AnonymousAug 20, 2026 13:24
Re: #27
If a proctologist only treated hemorrhoids, sure, but in reality they're GI surgeons who also handle tough procedures like the Hartmann procedure, so other departments actually respect them.
35AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:35
Bottom tier is pediatrics.
Seriously, nobody wanted it.
54AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:43
Which department is basically "only the highly capable need apply"?
60AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:44
Re: #54
Cardiac surgery.
You need to be smart AND have the stamina to pull three straight all-nighters.
56AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:43
Just being a doctor already commands respect, but
I guess even among doctors there's some kind of caste system, huh 😔
59AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:44
Re: #56
It'd be great if the whole world thought like you (stares off into the distance)
70AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:49
It's a more necessary specialty than psychiatry, honestly.
102AnonymousAug 20, 2026 13:27
Re: #70
Psychiatry is necessary too.
They're working hard to keep 200,000 long-term inpatients from being released back into general society.
87AnonymousAug 20, 2026 12:59
Turns out most young OB-GYNs these days are women.
At this rate, obstetrics/gynecology is headed for collapse.
92AnonymousAug 20, 2026 13:04
Re: #87
With the birth rate falling, the number of doctors needed is dropping too, so it probably balances out.
94AnonymousAug 20, 2026 13:10
Re: #87
Female doctors tend not to want night shifts, so you should just assume nighttime deliveries won't be a thing anymore.
105AnonymousAug 20, 2026 13:30
If you need hemorrhoid surgery, go to the surgery department at a big hospital.
I went to a private proctology clinic first and it was awful — they just dragged the treatment out.
110AnonymousAug 20, 2026 13:56
Re: #105
Dermatology was awful too.
I wanted a cyst removed from a sensitive area ASAP, but they just kept stalling with medication. A full year later I finally got a referral to a big hospital and got it fixed with surgery.
106AnonymousAug 20, 2026 13:31
Dentists have it pretty rough too, don't they.
Other people's mouths are nasty.

Background and Key Points

Med student proctology thread → English closer.

**Background readers need:** Japan’s medical hierarchy runs partly on prestige and lifestyle. Proctology (肛門科, kōmonka) is a real subspecialty of gastrointestinal surgery, not just hemorrhoid-popping — treating anal fistulas, hemorrhoids, and procedures like the Hartmann operation. It survives in Japan through a network of dedicated specialty clinics (専門クリニック) alongside hospital GI-surgery departments, a setup less common in the US or UK, where colorectal issues mostly funnel through general/colorectal surgery. On the other end of the debate, OB-GYN (産婦人科) has a well-documented staffing crisis: grueling night shifts for deliveries, high malpractice liability, and a shrinking pool of male applicants — a professor’s on-record plea in the thread (“we really wish more male students would go into obstetrics”) reflects a real recruitment problem discussed in Japanese medical education circles for years.

**Where the thread split:** Not on whether proctology matters — nobody argued that — but on rank. Posters diverged over whether “necessary/undesirable” specialties like proctology and psychiatry deserve more respect than their reputation suggests, versus a competing view that pediatrics and OB-GYN are the true bottom-tier postings because of pay, hours, and lawsuit risk, while cardiac surgery sits at the top purely on difficulty and stamina.

**What outsiders likely miss:** The debate says nothing about reimbursement rates — in Japan’s national health insurance (fee schedule) system, procedural specialties like surgery and cardiac surgery are compensated far better per hour than cognitive/talk-heavy fields like psychiatry or general pediatrics, which is a bigger driver of the pecking order than posters here admit.

*This article is excerpted and summarized from the 5ch (Nandemo Jikkyou G) thread “Med Student: “Phew… Phew… I studied so hard and finally got my medical license…! Now! Let’s go fix everyone’s anuses!” → Becomes a proctologist.”

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