No ‘Right Answer’ for Men’s Cologne: 5ch Says ‘Most Recommendations Just Stink’

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The story

On 5ch’s “Nandemo Jikkyo G” (Anything-Goes Live-Commentary) board, a thread asking what cologne men should actually wear kicked off. Even when posters named colognes considered mainstream classics, replies kept shooting them down with “most of those stink.” The discussion started from the basic question of whether men should even wear cologne at all. As it rolled on, it spread beyond scent preferences into body-odor countermeasures, clashes with fabric-softener smells, and nostalgic talk about brands that were huge back in the day — but in the end, nobody landed on a definitive “this is the answer.”

What people said

1AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:17
Pretty much all the 'recommended' ones are stinky as hell
2AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:18
Men shouldn't wear cologne, period
3AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:18
Re: #2
Sounds like it'd smell like damp, unaired laundry
12AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:22
Dolce & Gappana, obviously! (comically mangled — it's actually Gabbana)
14AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:24
Re: #12
Eito deserves to get sued by D&G already (his hit song 'Kōsui' won't stop name-dropping their perfume)
16AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:25
It's gotta be that Margiela whatchamacallit 'Morning' one (Maison Margiela's Replica 'Matin d'Orage,' nicknamed 'Morning' in Japan)
27AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:28
Re: #16
I like this one
It's not pretentious, feels subtle, but still gives off a clean impression
18AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:25
Samurai or Ultramarine, either's fine
20AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:26
Re: #18
🫪 What about Tactics?!
22AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:26
Japanese people barely have body odor unless they've got bromhidrosis (strong armpit odor), so cologne's unnecessary
Natural is best
30AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:30
Re: #22
Japanese people have a low rate of bromhidrosis, but with all the sebum and humidity, bacteria-caused body odor itself actually happens pretty easily for us
29AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:29
My wife wears the red Angel Heart perfume, but apparently that's a 'gyaru' (gal-fashion crowd) scent
31AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:30
Re: #29
That's the one that smells like baby powder
36AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:32
Perfumes labeled 'spicy' or 'woody' or 'oriental' smell like body odor to me
Who's even buying those?
39AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:33
Re: #36
That's just an excuse for BO you can't fully cover up
48AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:37
Re: #36
I've got mild BO myself so I actually like the oriental ones
40AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:33
A lot of these balding guys don't know how to apply it right
Way too much, idiots
47AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:36
Re: #40
Some of these are so strong that even one spray on your ankle is overkill
Are their noses dead or something
If they'd just use the right amount, people would rate them way higher
42AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:34
Is there one that smells like gin?
49AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:37
Re: #42
🥺 One that smells like juniper and gooseberry? Sounds like Yennefer from The Witcher
51AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:40
(gay…)
57AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:43
Re: #51
At the end of the day you wear it to land whoever you're after, so of course gay guys wear it and straight guys wear it too
Anyone who says otherwise must have zero luck with women
52AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:41
Forget cologne, someone deal with the idiots who overdose on fabric softener
63AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:46
Re: #52
There are people trailing an insane cloud of fabric-softener stink — how do you even do laundry to end up like that?
53AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:42
Isn't something like SHIRO good enough?
59AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:44
Re: #53
Totally fine if you're a student
58AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:44
I've got seriously strong BO so I wear cologne
But if it's unpopular I'll just quit wearing it
62AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:46
From what I remember in middle school, everyone wore Sculpture, Sexy Boy, Samurai, CK1, that kind of thing
I wore Sculpture
Though that's 25-year-old info
66AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:47
Re: #62
'Ultraman Marine' (aka Ultramarine) was huge too, right?
Couldn't stand it, rough times back then
68AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:48
Re: #62
So nostalgic
67AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:48
Apparently something called Old Spice is trending among the young whippersnappers these days
A high schooler I met recently was wearing it too
72AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:50
Re: #67
It's been sold at Matsumoto Kiyoshi (a major drugstore chain) since this year, so it's way easier to get now — nice
Just go with the Captain scent and no woman's going to make a face at you
70AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:49
Why do cheap perfumes smell so nasty?
It's like a 'cheap' smell, if that makes sense
79AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:57
Re: #70
That's because they use cheap synthetic fragrance oils
78AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:57
Tell me the most popular cologne that's cheap and covers up old-person smell (kareishū)
80AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:59
Re: #78
Just dab some Old Spice behind your ears
81AnonymousSep 26, 2026 16:59
Is there anything that smells like right after a barbershop visit?
88AnonymousSep 26, 2026 17:03
Re: #81
A lot of the ones with reviews saying 'smells like old-man hair gel!' actually come pretty close to that barbershop smell
86AnonymousSep 26, 2026 17:01
Someone told me eau de cologne is the optimal answer
89AnonymousSep 26, 2026 17:08
Re: #86
You mean eau de toilette

Background and key points of this discussion

The claim floated in the thread that “Japanese people have weak body odor” is partly true, but the number of sweat glands varies a lot between individuals, and in Japan’s humid climate, bacteria-driven odor can develop on pretty much anyone. Cheap perfumes tend to smell “cheap” because they lean more heavily on lower-cost synthetic fragrance compounds instead of natural essential oils, which makes the scent’s layering and longevity feel flat instead of multidimensional. Also, as one poster noted, “eau de cologne” and “eau de toilette” refer to the same type of product but with different fragrance concentrations — the higher the concentration, the longer the scent lasts, though too much makes it easy to tip into “overdoing it.” Go-to brands also vary sharply by generation. The reason no single “correct answer” for men’s cologne exists seems to come down to this tangle of concentration, ingredients, and individual body chemistry.

※This article is excerpted and summarized from the 5ch (Nandemo Jikkyo G) thread “There’s really no telling what cologne a man should wear……………………“

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