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The story
An article distributed by Yomiuri TV, “No More Letting Parents ‘Age and Run’? Consultations Surge — The Reality of ‘Family Closure’ as People Cut Ties With Their Parents,” became a hot topic on 5ch’s news board. While the article claims that consultations about severing parent-child ties are on the rise, the thread split between critics who called it “nothing but fiction” or a “malicious article,” and others who countered that “toxic parent problems have always existed — this is nothing new.” At the same time, posters who had actually distanced themselves from their own parents shared practical methods — such as using restrictions on viewing family registry (koseki) and residency records — to keep their whereabouts hidden, turning the thread into a genuinely useful exchange of information.
[News to] No More Letting Parents ‘Age and Run’? The Reality — and Harrowing Background — Behind the Surge in ‘Family Closure’ Consultations
Delivered 8:00 AM, Tue, Nov 3
Yomiuri TV
Source: news.yahoo.co.jp / Original article here
What people said
The eldest son, if he's NOT bald, should be viewed with suspicion.
Nobody in my family is bald, but my husband suddenly went bald out of nowhere.
And he's the spitting image of his father-in-law.
^
I recently realized comments like that are actually a dig at parents whose kids ran away from them.
That's the kind of take that would make a "kodo-oji" (an adult man who still lives with his parents) thrilled.
These days even if they leave the nest, the husband turns into a NEET and the whole family ends up moving back in anyway.
Some trigger must have flipped a switch.
Starting next generation, everyone's bald.
Oh no.
I can forgive my husband going bald,
but I can't forgive my son being doomed to a life where women never pick him.
If there's baldness on the mother's side, you're 100% going bald.
If it's only the father who's bald, the odds of staying hairy are a lot higher.
so maybe stuff like this really does happen.
If your parents are doing something illegal, you'd better report them to the police anyway — otherwise you might end up suspected of covering for them.
The British Royal Family: "…"
Sure, you cut your parents off and life gets easier for now,
but when you get old, it'll just be your turn to get cut off.
Everyone gets old eventually — that moment is guaranteed to come.
A kid raised to be spoiled and always take the easy way out isn't going to conveniently take care of you.
If anything, they've thoroughly learned the lesson that it's fine to cut off a burdensome, aging parent.
Articles like this are way too malicious — who does this even benefit?
Conflict with toxic parents is such a common theme it shows up ad nauseam in documentaries and dramas both in Japan and abroad — you've got pretty narrow vision if you think this is rare.
And assuming a kid raised by toxic parents will even be able to start a family or have kids of their own is awfully naive.
The source here is a Yomiuri TV news report, so if it turns out to be fabricated, that's a case for the BPO (Japan's Broadcasting Ethics & Program Improvement Organization).
Don't.
Apparently about 5% of kids turn out not to be their father's.
they've really coined some extreme terms here —
"elderly flight" and "family closure."
What is happening to this country?
Since around the Heisei era, it feels like Japan has just been churning out one word after another that makes life harder for Japanese people.
First, to protect yourself from your parents, it might help to put viewing restrictions on your family registry (koseki) and residency record.
That makes it harder for them to track down where you've moved.
Getting tested to confirm whether you're actually blood-related is another option.
I've been cut off from my parents for over 10 years now.
Honestly, just move far away,
file the paperwork at your local office,
and put a viewing restriction on your residency record.
The tricky part is that if you stay in touch with relatives you get along with,
there's always some idiot who'll blab to your parents,
so you just have to be careful about staying hidden from that angle too.
but I guess even unmarried, you could split off into your own registry ("bunseki") and then apply a viewing restriction.
You can do it even while single.
The catch is that getting married can expose you,
so when you file your marriage registration,
you have to make sure to tell the office
you want to get married while keeping the viewing restriction in place.
Apparently they can process it so you don't get found out.
That really ought to be more widely known —
so more people can actually escape toxic parents for good.
I see, I had no idea.
I was naively thinking all you had to do was just stop keeping in touch.
Someone else already covered this in Re: #134, so take a look there too.
The word "filial piety" gets thrown around constantly and I hate it.
Grandparents should help out from a distance, and parents should be the ones spending money on their kids.
Grandparents should support their kids from a distance (and if they can't even do that, just staying away is fine too).
And if you don't get along with your own parents — seriously, don't get married.
Of course I won't.
I can't picture a happy married life, and it terrifies me to think my own kid might inherit the "psycho gene" from their grandparents.
I won't.
Obviously I won't have kids either.
This bloodline ends with me.
Better that only the good bloodlines carry on for generations.
If you live too long, that's game over.
I wish modern medicine would own up to the fact that it's making a huge number of people miserable.
If only they at least hadn't gone senile ("boke")…
Happiness and unhappiness differ person to person.
Some people are glad they got to care for their parents.
And some parents get told by their own kids, "I never asked to be born."
Background and Key Points of This Discussion
“Family closure” (kazoku-jimai) is a recent media term for settling accounts with one’s parents and cutting off contact, and using the koseki (family registry) and resident record viewing-restriction system to keep one’s whereabouts hidden is a technique that’s even known among experts. That said, Japan has no legal mechanism to formally dissolve a parent-child relationship itself, and since the registry connection remains, a complete “severing of ties” is difficult in practice. The thread was split over whether the article was an exaggerated “piece of fiction” or legitimate reporting reflecting a real rise in consultations, with some pointing out that — since it was distributed by Yomiuri TV — it could become a case for the BPO (Broadcasting Ethics & Program Improvement Organization) if the claims turned out to be fabricated. There was also a recurring back-and-forth along the lines of “parents who abandon their kids will eventually get abandoned themselves,” alongside genuinely practical replies explaining the specific procedures for viewing restrictions. Behind the article lies a broader, generational shift in attitudes toward family — including caregiving burdens and the problem of toxic parents.
*This article is composed of excerpts and a summary from the 5ch (News Express+) thread “[Family] No More Letting Parents ‘Age and Run’? The Reality — and Harrowing Background — Behind the Surge in ‘Family Closure’ Consultations].”
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