At the World Humanoid Robot Games in Beijing, China, a humanoid robot ran the 100m dash in 9.32 seconds, beating Usain Bolt’s world record of 9.58 seconds. However, after crossing the finish line it failed to decelerate in time, crashed into the safety mat, and caught fire — and on 5ch, the reactions focused less on the record itself and more on the “fiery finish” punchline, along with concerns about future military applications.
Chinese humanoid robot beats Usain Bolt in the 100m with a time of 9.32 seconds… then slams into the mat and catches fire after the finish line
[Beijing — Ryosuke Terunuma] The “World Humanoid Robot Games,” a sporting competition testing the performance of humanoid robots, opened in Beijing on the 22nd. In the men’s 100m preliminary heat, a humanoid robot clocked 9.32 seconds (provisional), surpassing Usain Bolt’s human world record of 9.58 seconds.
(Omitted below — please check the source for the rest of the article)
>>1
Crashes into the mat and catches fire after the finish line
This robot really knows how to land a joke
Funnier than Yoshimoto (Japan's biggest comedy talent agency)
27Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 18:01:15.85ID:UmC/y00T
>>2
Apparently at a US 155mm artillery shell plant, a robot arm went haywire and sent a shell casing flying
then smashed a self-driving cart and slammed into a wall — instead of catching fire, it just blew a huge hole in the wall
3Anonymous2026/08/23(日) 23:40:30.77ID:DBc13WrK
The fact that it's literally on fire is hilarious
4Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 00:53:55.70ID:2d8RxeAW
🔥Chariots of Fire (the Japanese title of the film — and now literally true)
19Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 09:38:52.51ID:bmMsmDCh
>>4
Couldn't make the turn, crashed into the guardrail, and caught fire
5Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 01:08:59.33ID:42tjSfuX
If it's gonna happen anyway, it would've been funnier if it caught fire mid-run
6Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 03:36:29.49ID:OlKEfRuW
Guess it can't slow down
7Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 03:45:30.84ID:SKkdJ9eY
Do this somewhere with enough space to actually stop
9Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 06:05:51.23ID:MXFQMcZm
It could probably do the 400m in like 37 seconds too
10Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 06:11:59.09ID:6UKLWMBu
Hope the energy pack technology keeps improving
13Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 08:30:41.51ID:qoAaYUx4
Let's make it race Karl-kun (likely a nod to sprint legend Carl Lewis)
15Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 08:41:20.46ID:x8idxAwo
Humanoid robots still don't have the durability for practical use… disposable applications only for now
16Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 08:44:10.55ID:unIEyu/J
It's a machine — it should be able to run 100m in 2 or even 3 seconds if they really pushed it.
17Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 08:55:12.68ID:1zIheSul
What I'd really want to see is emergency braking beyond human capability — that's the kind of thing a robot should be doing
20Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 10:05:38.94ID:JZ1IKnVQ
It's hilarious, but this is actually a big deal
Still, China really is fixated on humanoid robots
21Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 10:12:10.43ID:efP7PoDm
Truly Chariots of Fire
Vangelis's theme is playing in my head right now
23Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 10:35:50.88ID:Ln/ICyqi
Now I can picture it — our future in elder care
24Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 10:43:28.90ID:NNNfzmMh
Probably not light, and looks pretty hard
Getting hit by that would hurt — like a real "insurance-scam pedestrian" (someone who deliberately steps in front of vehicles for a payout)
25Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 12:43:17.06ID:96hopckU
Guess it'll end up used for trench warfare or amphibious landings?
34Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 20:32:37.45ID:SDeZYfRt
>>25
The one that charges at enemies of Her Majesty is the Panjandrum (a WWII British experimental rocket-propelled explosive wheel that famously went out of control)
The one that charges at enemies of General Secretary Xi Jinping is the robot conscript from >>1 (i.e., a Chinese army private)
37Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 21:03:25.73ID:3mvKsUtj
>>25
Yeah. Though right now all it can manage is a suicidal "banzai charge."
26Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 14:44:19.20ID:k23s8La+
The way it collapses and burns at the end is the best part
28Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 19:16:19.50ID:fF9P9YWl
>>1
If this had happened in Japan, people would probably criticize the safety issue from the fire more than praise the good time.
Over there they seem willing to just laugh off both the failure and the safety concerns, which might actually make for a better environment for R&D.
29Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 19:16:20.49ID:s88mOA7Y
It'd be terrifying if a hundred of these came charging at you in a line
and then they explode at the end on top of that
They'll probably learn to handle rough terrain too
This is Terminator territory, no doubt
And China would rush to put these to military use in no time
30Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 19:34:38.70ID:78CeIDe3
As long as the battery holds out, it could probably keep running for miles at this speed
31Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 19:43:40.39ID:T3S1Bvzg
Can't think of any use for this besides a military kamikaze attack
32Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 20:24:41.45ID:SDeZYfRt
>>1
Pretty dramatic ending, not bad at all
36Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 20:46:22.85ID:hLi80tip
Wouldn't it be more productive to have them manufacture things instead of running track meets?
…oh right, China's currently dealing with a serious demand shortage.
38Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 21:06:09.56ID:1Go5n8aw
Burned out, pure white to the end (a callback to the famous line from the boxing manga Ashita no Joe)
39Anonymous2026/08/24(月) 21:16:50.44ID:M2writGc
Getting hit by a machine like that would be no joke.
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