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The story
According to vital statistics from Japan’s Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare, the overall number of divorces has been declining since peaking in 2002 — but the share of “late-in-life divorces,” where couples married 20 years or more split up, hit a record high of 24.2%. The article also cites a survey finding that 70-80% of the time, it’s the wife who initiates the breakup. On 5ch, commenters traded a wide range of views on what’s driving late-in-life divorce — from the suffocation of having a husband home all day after retirement, to questions about whether there’s any point staying married once the kids are raised, to pushback like “the kids will leave, so the marriage matters more than ever.”
(Omitted)
According to vital statistics released in September by the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare, the overall number of divorces has been trending downward since peaking in 2002. At the same time, though, the share of “late-in-life divorces” — couples parting after being together 20 years or more — hit a record high of 24.2%.
Many of the couples interviewed on the street gave wry smiles and answers like “there’s no big conflict” or “well, there’s some putting up with things.”
Source: news.yahoo.co.jp / Original article here
What people said
That's gotta be rough for the wife. Apparently when she tries to go shopping just to clear her head, he tags along going "I'll come too~" lol
This is the #1 cause of retirement divorce. Just being around each other becomes unbearable.
First thing that'll break your brain is the baby's night crying.
Just wear earplugs and sleep in a different room, you'll be fine.
You're just bad at parenting. My ex-wife was like that too — whenever she had some selfish need, like wanting to sleep or check her phone, the baby would start crying. And once it started, she couldn't get it to stop, so she'd just let it cry endlessly. In our house, once I got home from work, I handled 100% of the childcare. My ex just slept alone in another room. I bathed the twins, did the milk, the diapers, everything — and the three of us slept together in a separate room until I left for work the next morning.
It looks like a lot of people are single, but there are also plenty of childless common-law couples out there. Having someone to talk to, someone who gets you — that's actually nice lol. Even travel and games can be more fun as a pair.
If you're a close couple, once the kids are off your hands you get to travel together, just the two of you…
No, that's actually when it really begins. The kids start their own households and basically become outsiders — you end up seeing them once or twice a year. In the end, the couple is all that's left.
18 years of marriage like in the article — that's already "family." I don't get divorcing at that point. If you've made it 20 years, you understand each other by now, so why not just accept being family and coast through the next 20 the same way?
Probably because your 40s is the age when the kids are born, grow up, and finally become independent — so they put up with the marriage while the kids were still around, but once the kids were gone, they wanted out of playing house.
Well, if you're going to demand a high-cost man, you'd better be a "high-value woman" yourself. Most women know their worth and can support themselves. If some low-value woman made demands like that these days, she could end up losing everything, right down to her last yen.
Most households these days are dual-income. Maybe get outside once in a while.
Husbands tagging along at the supermarket is very much a thing these days — you see it across the board, from guys in their 30s to guys in their 70s and 80s. And when you watch what they're actually doing while trailing their wife, it's just loading the cart with whatever they personally like lol. Husbands who push the cart and look after the kids are the minority.
They grew up watching their own parents model that kind of family, so it's only natural they think it's normal — it's the only example they ever had. Whether they learn from that as a cautionary tale and do better is up to each man.
The peak of love is right up until you start dating. Same with being a fan of an idol ('oshi') — it's eternal unrequited love, which is exactly why people get hooked.
Maybe men's love runs deeper because it's more like "possessive love." That's also why it's usually men who turn into stalkers.
Just see your role through to the end, no? Is that really so hard?
My grandma used to fight with my grandpa all the time, but she never divorced him because she cared about appearances. Back then, people cared less about their own feelings than about avoiding gossip like "did you hear, so-and-so from that family got divorced" — they hated that more than anything.
The kids will leave eventually — that's exactly why the marriage matters.
You could just become friends who understand each other — talking about your son, your daughter, the grandkids, what happened that day. Plus someone to go out with. Once the kids leave the nest, the only one I've got left to talk to is the cat.
Isn't that just because she's not interested in you?
Women have always had "Gen Z logic" — all about cost-performance and time-efficiency (kosupa/taipa, slang for getting max value for minimal money/time).
It's probably just that women aren't interested in you lol. Women are basically chatterboxes by nature — guys just need to go "uh-huh," "oh really," "yeah, totally" lol. That's enough to satisfy them.
Well, maybe, but women's conversations are basically boring and I've got zero interest, so being single is way more relaxing for me. Stuff like dogs or fashion — genuinely couldn't care less lol. I honestly respect guys who can keep putting up with that boring talk forever.
Just having a girl I like smile and talk to me is enough to satisfy me. I think just listening to her small talk makes me happy, honestly.
Background and Key Points of the Debate
“Late-in-life divorce” (jukunen rikon) is a category in the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare’s vital statistics covering couples who split after 20 or more years together. The 24.2% figure is a share recorded while the overall divorce count is on a declining trend — it’s easy to mistake this for the actual number of such divorces rising, which it isn’t. Where opinions split in the thread was over how to view the point of staying married once child-rearing is finished: “the couple is all that’s left” versus “I want to be freed from playing house.” As for the survey finding that 70-80% of the time it’s the wife who initiates the divorce, many commenters pointed to the suffocation of having a retired husband home all day — but that figure reflects an overall trend, not the circumstances of every individual couple. Though not raised in the thread, commentators elsewhere note that the pension-splitting system and other financial factors also contribute to late-in-life divorce, suggesting institutional factors are at play alongside emotional ones.
*This article is an excerpt and summary of the 5ch (News Express+) thread ““70-80% of the Time, It’s the Wife Who Asks for the Split” — Late-in-Life Divorce Rate Hits Record High as Couples Skip Reconciliation.”
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