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The story
An article from Nikkan SPA titled “The Delusional Moves of a 45-Year-Old Man Who Wants to Get Close to Young Female Coworkers” became a hot topic on 5ch.
The thread filled up with blunt takes like “it all comes down to whether you’re good-looking or not,” alongside practical advice such as “start by getting close to women your own age first.” One poster who confessed their own real-life experience got roasted by the whole thread, fueling the discussion.
The “Delusional Moves” of a 45-Year-Old Man Who Wants to Get Close to Young Female Coworkers… “I Think I Keep Up with What the Young Ones Are Into” | Nikkan SPA!
Posted: August 25, 2026, 15:53
Daichi Sakaiya
Source: nikkan-spa.jp / Original article here
What people said
Tamamori Yuta also said, "A high schooler is a fan of mine? I'm 35, are you sure you've got the right guy?"
And Okura Tadayoshi said, "As a 39-year-old man, I think it would count as harassment for me to even have feelings for a young woman."
(These are all real quotes from Japanese idols downplaying age-gap attention.)
Meanwhile random old dudes out there have weirdly sky-high self-esteem, casually lie about their age, and claim they "look young" or "resemble [some celebrity]" — seriously, what is that? Some kind of disease?
Guys who say with a straight face "young girls just suit me better than women my own age," "obviously younger women are better," "go out with me!", "let's go to a hot spring together!" — there are real men like this everywhere and it's genuinely gross.
Meanwhile a junior idol was saying stuff like this, and what was that other member Yamaguchi doing, abusing his position of power? (alluding to a real idol misconduct scandal)
Even calling it "flawless" doesn't do it justice.
Good-looking guys understand from experience just how many different kinds of women there are, and even with older women, if the interest is genuine, they'll make a sincere effort to respond in kind.
They're not afraid to put themselves out there and let the other person decide — that's the kind of confidence they have.
Delusional "good-looking" guys, on the other hand, aren't just cringe — for some reason they instinctively gravitate toward young women.
"Instinctively" is the key part.
If it works once, they get a taste for it and start chasing their own desires (in order of strength: lust, then the urge to dominate).
Average-looking guys have no choice but to watch from the sidelines, understanding all this while staying out of sight, just observing from a distance —
all while telling themselves they're making an effort to miraculously find a partner someday.
That's really all there is to it. If you're creepy, nothing works, period.
Even good-looking guys are out once they're old. Popular "handsome uncles" (ikeoji) don't push themselves on people.
Good-looking guys handle dating smoothly, so without exception they end up falling for people their own age. Anyone who doesn't is a "delusional good-looking guy." I'm average-looking myself, so I can tell just from observing.
Seriously, this. But the non-young female coworkers want to get close to the young male employees, so all you can do is grit your teeth and endure.
in an instant, anyone becomes friends,
hey there, hello everyone!
(Lyrics from the classic Japanese kids' song "Tomodachi Sanka" / "Friendship Anthem")
Akiba's Yodobashi Camera♪ (riffing on the electronics store's famous jingle)
They can't have kids, so unfortunately they're no longer marriage material.
A "nice uncle" is best kept at a distance, just chilling amicably with other uncles his own age.
Think about it — back when you were young, if some 45-year-old lady suddenly barged into your conversation going "oh I like that too!", wouldn't that have been rough…
Exactly.
Like even if you're talking about Sunday-morning tokusatsu shows, she's from the Heisei-era Kamen Rider generation.
If some try-hard guy starts going on about how he loves the flashy, beeping-belt-transformation Rider shows, you'd want to lecture him, right?
Same goes for manga, music, everything — the conversation just isn't going to click.
You'd get it if you just pictured a conversation with your own dad.
The problem is probably that you're aiming to date right from the start, so people get wary of you.
Skipping the step of just becoming genuinely close first and jumping straight to trying to date is the issue — maybe that works fine between two young people, but not here.
That one stung. She sits next to me and talks to me a lot, so I figured I had a shot, asked her to grab a meal, got shot down instantly, and she's been ignoring me ever since.
From the outside it honestly looks creepy and cringe, so you should really stop doing that kind of thing.
First off, that girl's probably talking to other guys too, not just you.
The moment she turned down the meal invite tells you you weren't even in the "friend" category — she was just being polite to keep things running smoothly at work, and you mistook it for something more.
You're supposed to make her fall for you with your status — you've built up plenty over the years, haven't you?
If you've got nothing to show for 45 years, just give up lol. A classic "useless old man."
Sounds like the kind of thing you'd rattle off super fast.
That's fair, honestly.
The moment the other person feels uncomfortable, it's instant sexual harassment lol.
And even if you got lucky and things turned romantic, if you break up later there's the risk she says "I couldn't refuse since he was my senior (boss)" and you get hit with a harassment claim lol.
Is there literally nothing driving you besides being horny?
Don't you want to be popular no matter how old you get? It's not really that weird.
Being addicted to wanting attention is a nasty affliction. Doesn't matter if you're married or not.
Back when I was young, the old guys at company drinking parties would sing old songs, and honestly I think there's nothing wrong with singing old songs.
Even if that's true, anyone who writes that about themselves on a place like this is 100% delusional, or just fantasizing.
Actually, here's the funny thing — girls who like to be spoiled sometimes fall hard for a dependable, kind, composed "oji-sama" (older gentleman) type. Go figure.
Don't go generalizing from a statistical outlier.
That's no different from saying "well actually, if you win the lottery you can buy a yacht" lol.
Background and Key Points
Background readers need: Nikkan SPA is a Japanese men’s tabloid site known for workplace and relationship trend pieces aimed at salarymen, and 5ch (formerly 2channel) is Japan’s largest anonymous forum, where threads like this one aggregate reactions to such articles. The idols quoted at the top — Yamada Ryosuke (Hey! Say! JUMP), Tamamori Yuta (Kis-My-Ft2), Okura Tadayoshi (Kanjani8) — are members of Johnny’s/Starto-affiliated groups whose fanbases skew young and female; their self-deprecating remarks about being “too old” for fan attention are being used ironically to needle ordinary middle-aged men who show no such self-awareness. The post referencing “Yamaguchi” alludes to a real idol group scandal involving an older member’s misconduct toward a younger colleague, which is why it lands as a pointed jab rather than a random aside.
The thread’s actual fault line isn’t “should older men talk to younger coworkers” — nearly everyone agrees overtures are unwelcome — but whether the deciding factor is looks or manner. One camp insists attractive men get a pass because they read social cues and don’t force the issue, while average or unattractive men are creepy by default; others push back that even good-looking men “age out” and that genuine charisma, not looks, is what lets someone bridge the generation gap.
What the thread never spells out explicitly is the legal exposure: several posters gesture at “sekuhara” (sexual harassment) and power imbalance, but the real institutional backdrop is Japan’s workplace harassment prevention law (amended in 2020, extended to smaller firms in 2022), under which a senior employee’s persistent overtures toward a junior colleague can constitute actionable power harassment regardless of intent — a risk barely acknowledged amid the banter about charm and status.
*This article is excerpted and summarized from the 5ch (News Speed+) thread “The “Delusional Moves” of a 45-Year-Old Man Who Wanted to Get Close to Young Female Coworkers… “I Think I Keep Up with What the Young Ones Are Into” SPA.”
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